Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Harry HOOTer

I've been re-reading/re-watching the Harry Potter books/movies in order to prepare myself for Harry Potter & The Deathly Hollows part 1. I couldn't be more excited for this movie, the trailer proudly declares "The Motion Picture Event Of a Generation". I couldn't think of anything more truthful. In the world of "Super-Fandom" Harry Potter has rightfully earned it's place among Star Wars & Star Trek. Bands, Fictional Books on Tape, Fan Art, Youtube Series', College groups... the list is endless. People love Potter but there's just... one thing that doesn't stick with me, I never understood it until now.

I started re-reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (or Part 3) and early on Harry talks about getting in trouble with the Dursley's because of a phone call from his best friend Ron Weasley. Ron and the rest of the wizarding world aren't familiar with phones. Which is all well and good; they're fucking wizards you know? They can't understand a lot of things like that, who needs a car when you can use Floo Powder to get places? Who needs boring & slow Football (or Soccer to us Americans) when you've got NASCAR on brooms with violent blood-thirsty balls (Quidditch)? Every in the wizarding world is faster and better than our Muggle world. Why should Ron know how to use and outdated phone when they've got...Owls? Owls deliver their message?


In what world does tying a letter/note to an owl and having it fly to a location seem like a timely way to spread information? I mean we won't even factor in that PETA would be flipping a shit over this type of Animal Labor, but for example... I live in PA, I work for a website in CA. If I need to ask them a quick question, it's a phone call, 3 minutes conversation, answer. With the Harry Potter owl system it'd take like a week just to get the answer to the question "Should I put this interview up on youtube?"

I mean the Weasley's in particular should be leading the way in this new technology, Ron is constantly worrying if the family owl Errol will die while delivering letters/gifts. That is no way to live! Shit! In The Chamber of Secrets (Part 2) all attempts to contact Harry have failed because Dobby the house elf kept intercepting messages. The Weasley's thought something was wrong with Harry. A simple phone call would have let them know he was alive and would have even let them know he wasn't getting their packages! I mean understandably, Ron and the Weasley's live in the Wizarding world with a Mail-system that apparently stopped at the world war 2 carrier pigeon, but Hermione should know better!

You know what... Fuck Harry Potter & The Deathly Hollows Part 1... stupid fucking cell-phoneless Wizards!

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