Sunday, March 31, 2013

Self Observational Sunday: Dealing with Death Fear

Over the last week I've been having some insane anxiety and paranoia. One of the biggest elements in the last week has been the fear that people I love are going to die sooner rather than later. This isn't an entirely unheard of fear. I have at least 3 family members who are not doing well health wise. I don't handle death well. 

Yesterday I was driving around listening to music and I decided to visit an old favorite. Eels: Electro Shock Blues

For people who don't know the story of Electro-Shock Blues it all began in 1996 when Mark Oliver Everett (E) released Beautiful Freak under the moniker Eels. At the peak of the band's new found success E's sister committed suicide and his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This meant E was about to be the last living person in his family bloodline (his father died in 1982). 

The first half of this album is heartbreaking. It even includes lyrics inspired by his sister's last diary entry. However the second half of the album becomes more hopeful. It builds to the conclusion with song P.S You Rock My World. The song breaks down and outlines E's return to society, finally leaving his house after dealing with his depression. 

There's one lyric that stands out above the rest however:
"And I was thinking about how everyone is dyin'/Maybe it's time to live"

For some reason the second I heard that lyric all those fears disappeared. It's amazing how affective music can be.

Also Happy Easter

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