Friday, August 12, 2011

If Only They Could Tour

I've stated in some previous entries that I'm always open for people submitting their own list for me to build. Last week my friend Lauralie Navo suggested I do a list of fictional groups. I figured I'd do a list of 5, in the end I had over 40 bands and solo artists. I made some cuts and then enforced rules which basically took the most obvious answers off my list.

If the band released any album outside the soundtrack for the movie and/or toured I could no longer consider them entirely 'fictional'. Thus Spinal Tap, Tenacious D and Blues Brothers will not be appearing on this list.

Now without any further delay

17. LOVE BURGER (Can't Hardly Wait)

Our 17th band never played a note, but you can't tell me you weren't extremely curious about them. They looked like a group of friends who formed a band strictly to get more friends. Half look like they'd be in Phish while (as the movie states) another looks like Prince. Regardless I'd pay money to see them even if their set was just a 45 minute long break-up.

16. N.W.H. (Niggaz With Hats) - (Fear of a Black Hat)

Niggaz With Hats is the gangsta rap group from the mocumentary Fear of a Black Hat. They film was a financial flop despite critical praise. While it's much like CB4 this parody covers much more group of the music industry circa 1994. We see the hypocrisy of members Ice Cold, Tone Def and Tasty Tastes and their over-the-top personalities as their band rises to fame and then splits into solo projects.

15. Du Jour - (Josie and the Pussycats)

Now people are going to be rioting in the streets when they read this whole article and don't see 2ge+her on the list at all. But I was always more of a Du Jour fan. Featuring half the members of the previously mentioned Loveburger Du Jour covered everything we loved about boy bands. They bragged about their fame (Du Jour Around the World) but they also opened up to us about how much love they have to give (Backdoor Lover). They were the greatest boy band in the world, until their unfortunate plane crash.

14. Wyld Stallyns (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure/Bogus Journey)

Bill and Ted's group Wyld Stallyns wrote a song so amazing that it turned the world into the most peaceful planet of all time. It only makes sense that the song would be "God Gave Rock N Roll To You" by Kiss (which is actually a cover Argent). Look how happy everyone is and how sick the guitar licks are. Who wouldn't love this band!

13. Pop (Music and Lyrics)

Music and Lyrics is one of the most under-rated romantic comedies ever made. As a fan of 80's music the satire on one hit wonders of that decade is solid. Pop was the WHAM of this particular universe. They had one maybe two big hits but then were never heard from again... sort of. The 'George Michael' character had a great future but this movie follows the OTHER member (in this case named Alex Fletcher. Alex is content with his life performing at high school reunions and amusement parks after an unsuccessful attempt as a solo artist.

12. The Folksmen (A Mighty Wind)

A Mighty Wind follows some folk groups of the 60's reuniting to honor their old producer. Admittedly Mickey and Mitch's song "Kiss At the End of the Rainbow" is one of the most beautiful songs ever written for a soundtrack, but The Folksmen is the group I'd want to see. Their set in the film is one of the most awkward 10 minutes in cinema but their songs are all so diverse and catchy. Their hit "Old Joe's Place" is something I literally find myself singing throughout my day. I do love folk music though.

11. CB4 (CB4)

CB4 will always be Chris Rock's finest achievement. The story is very similar to Fear of a Black Hat (although admittedly CB4 came out first) so I won't go over all the details. What I will say is that CB4's music was catchy and vile at the same time. With their controversial hits Sweat from my Balls and Straight outta Locash it's no wonder it's the most dangerous fictional rap group of all time.

10. The Wonders (That Thing You Do!)

That Thing You Do! tells the story of The Wonders; the fictional American Beatles (or what could have been anyway). It shows the rise and fall of a one-hit wonder group. Regardless of the fact this song doesn't actually exist didn't stop the song itself from being one of the catchiest songs ever written. Special thanks to Fountains of Wayne bassist Adam Schlesinger (who wrote many songs for movies including the previously mentioned Music and Lyrics)

9. Three Times One Minus One (Mr. Show)

Mr. Show is still one of the greatest sketch comedy shows ever produced. It did everything that shows like Saturday Night Live and MadTV weren't. It was edgy, random and most importantly fucking hilarious. One of their few 'reoccuring' characters was the terrible R/B group Three Times One Minus One who's hit song "Eww Eww" made them one of the greats!
Honorable Mention also to Titanica who inspired the title of Blink 182's Adam's Song

8. Robin Sparkles (How I Met Your Mother)

Before becoming a News Reporter in New York, Robin Scherbatsky was a teen pop sensation in Canada. She released such hit singles as Let's Go to the Mall and Sandcastles in the Sand. While her fame was short lived her songs stood the test of time (in Canada). If Robin Sparkles decided to do a 20 year anniversary tour I'd buy tickets... and admit it, so would you

7. The Beets (Doug)

If you were a kid of the late-80's/early-90s you grew up watching NickToons. What's weird was even if you didn't like some shows, you still watched them anyway. Not everyone liked Doug; but EVERYONE liked The Beets. They were a strange sort-of British sort-of Rock band with super bizarre songs. They demanded more allowance, they warned us of Killer Tofu and the occasionally couldn't find their sock. One of the most memorable episodes of the show (for me anyway) centered around Doug and Skeeter trying to get to a show and ending up back stage after hitching a ride with their old tour manager (who claimed it was his sock they were singing about in the song Where's My Sock)

6. Sex Bob-omb (Scott Pilgrim & The World)

Sex Bob-omb is Scott Pilgrim's band. They're a sloppy garage band but they climb the charts anyway with their hits like Garbage Truck. It's expected that the music would be pretty solid having been written by a musical genius like Beck. However all three actors play their actual instruments. I found this extremely cool.

5. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (The Muppet Show)

The Muppet Show wouldn't quite be the Muppet Show if it wasn't for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. They were the most over the top, in your face band of foam rubber in history. They did mostly cover songs on the TV series, at one point destroying a Bach piece but the originals in the movie (specifically Can You Picture That) are toe-tapping masterpieces.

4. Powerline (A Goofy Movie)

I will never be able to explain it; but somehow A Goofy Movie went from being an obscure disney film that was only moderately successful to being every kid from my generation's favorite movie. I'm not going to argue with it though, because the movie brilliant. When it came out there were rumors that Powerline was voiced by Michael Jackson, that's clearly not true but it doesn't stop the songs from being amazing. Besides he's obviously inspired by M.J.

3. Mystic Sprial (Daria)

I've blogged about my love of Daria previously, so I don't want to repeat old territory. I will say this much. Daria's depiction of Garage rock through Trent and his band Mystic Spiral was brilliant. Their songs were always bad but yet, at times you wouldn't be shocked if they were written by someone like Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vender. My personal favorite lyric was from the Daria TV Movie Is it Fall Yet? song Freakin' Friends with the line 'when dead clowns, can't clown'

2. The Lone Rangers (Airheads)

Airheads is one of my guilt pleasures. It's basically a parody/remake of King of Comedy, but it's still hilarious. It follows a grunge band trying to make their big break but are constantly having doors closed in their face. Finally they start to develop a following, but only as criminals holding up a radio station to get their record played. Their single Degenerated is actually a cover of the Reagan Youth song from 1990. Personally, I prefer the film version.

1. Josie and the Pussycats (Josie and the Pussycats)

Josie and the Pussycats is without a doubt the most underrated movie of the 2000's. Beyond being one of the funniest films ever (and thus why 2 of the fake musical groups made the list) it also has the best soundtrack in a long time. The entire soundtrack is of course just Josie's album. All of the songs were written by Adam Schlesinger (previously mentioned for writing That Thing you Do!) and performed by Kay Hanley of Letters to Cleo. If you were disappointed by her bands break up, the soundtrack acts like a follow-up to Go!

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