Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Since the first second that i saw the trailer for Human Centipede: First Sequence I had been overcome with interest. I knew that chances were this movie was going to be terrible and disturbing; but the John Waters/Troma fan in me desperately wanted to see what this film could dish out. I decided to watch the movie and tweet about it; I creatively called it Human CentiTweet. Here's the results:
0:00 - #HumanCentiTweet Begins!
2 Minutes - aww he misses his doggie centipede
5 Minutes - oh man these bitches are annoying; someone sew an ass to their mouths to shut them the fuck up
7 Minutes - "There's no Signal" "There's Always a signal" "well not here in the middle of nowhere!"
8 MInutes - "You're always wet between your legs" This has "Best original Screenplay" locked easily
12 Minutes - "Is that a house? I think it's a house!"
15 Minutes - Dear Future LA roomates: I require a giant wall sized painting of Conjoined Twins in my house
20 Minutes - Oh shit! They're waking up tied to beds; shits about to go down motherfucker!
25 MInutes - DRAWING OF A BUTTHOLE! THERE WAS A DRAWING OF A BUTTHOLE!
27 Minutes - Just for the record, if given the option always choose to be the front of the human centipede... just saying
28 MInutes - Last tweet doesn't apply to those who get off on eating shit
35 Minutes - Punishment of being the middle of the Human Centipede... now that's a fucking punishment
41 Minutes - Man I hope he doesn't fuck up cutting on those blue lines could be really hazardous
42 Minutes - HE'S CUTTING INTO HER BUTT! THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING!
45 Minutes - Ladies and Gentleman we have a #HumanCentiTweet and it's glorious
48 MInutes - why is the guy in the front crying? He's just getting an eternal rimjob
50 Minutes - WW2 has taught us, a happy German is a dangerous German
51 MInutes - he's making it fetch the paper and ndow he's riding it. I mean really what do you do when you have a #HumanCentiTweet
65 Minutes - Constipation the worst thing that could happen to your human centipede
75 Minutes - They're very slowly getting away!
78 MInutes - Oh no! Not the front of the Centipede!
86 MInutes - This movie was fucking nuts! Thus ends #HumanCentiTweet
So what's the final verdict on this truly bizarre movie? Well it's not as scarring as I expected; it's not the most disgusting, or offensive or crude movie I've ever seen. The concept works but the movie doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. I think this movie probably works better with a group of friends and probably some drinks, but alone in a basement it just is awkward. The overacting mad scientist is the true star of the movie though. It's worth a watch but I don't forsee it having much rewatchability. Three Stars out of a Possible 5