I hopped... well slowly walked off the plane at LAX

I’m currently sitting on the couch of the very generous WillK. Will helped created the CGI Chipmunks in Alvin & the Chipmunks the movie… and even worked on the SQUEAKUAL! How exciting! I should pitch to him my idea for the 3^rd movie being called “The Alvin and the Chipmunks Squealogy”. Anyway, Will lives in Culver City, CA which is my way of saying… I’ve made it here safely!

But man was it a long trip! I woke up at the crack of 10am! By 11am I was on the road driving to BWI. There’s a long complicated story to me leaving from Baltimore instead of Philadelphia but I’ll say short version is that it was $50 cheaper on the tickets (which would be much more rewarding if I wasn’t spending $88 for parking at the BWI Airport!)

I’m always a pretty paranoid person so I arrived at the Airport at 1pm (my flight was at 4:15). I waited for 3 hours and in that time I read the entire novel “A Clockwork Orange” by Anthony Burgees. I think I understood it, but was disappointed at the lack of “Singing in the Rain” in the novelization (Movies Lie!)

I then sat in a plane from 415 Eastern Time till 820 Western Time… which is basically 415-1120 in my brain (yay Jetlag!). I sat in the first row of 3 empty seats I could find and waited to see who would be entertaining me for 7ish hours. The answer… an elderly couple. This meant I’d be reading A LOT of my 2^nd book for the flight “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” by David Eggers.

At least that was the goal, but I surrounded by loud, crying mutant babies. Seriously, one baby looked like the Aliens from Galaxy Quest that lived on that Rock planet.

Anyway the plane landed at LAX ahead of schedule, where the ever so graceful and friendly WillK picked me up. Sadly there was no Jay-Z song on, so I did not feel the need to put my hands up, instead I just settled for Will’s offer to take me to In-N-Out Burger. Must say; that is a damn good burger!

Anyway, the clock on Will’s wall says 10:30pm but the clock on my laptop says 1:30am… so I’m going to call it a night I think. Wireless here isn’t working for some reason for me, so I’ll be documenting everything in a Word file until I can post it on my blog!

CA Trip Begins in a few hours

So it's 1am right now. I finished packing my shit, 12 days worth of clothes in one carry on case (a feat most of my family thought was impossible) and now i just need to go to sleep, but I'm wired and watching a documentary on Five Iron Frenzy that's completly keeping my attention.

My goal is to finish reading "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote before I leave. Tomorrow will be almost certainly lots of driving and airports until I land in LAX at 8:15 (or 11:15 my time) and who knows what happens then.

I will try my best to update with exciting things (if they occur) whenever I have wifi (if ever).

That being said though, highly recommend checking out "Rise & Fall of Five Iron Frenzy"

Matthew Kelly in the Web this week!

So I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that I have another ranker list up! This week's list is covering a very important social situation. For once and all I have put an end to the on going debate of who was the hottest foreign exchange student!

Rooting for the Losing Team

So the other day I was reading my favorite website Geekscape and I came upon this fantastic article about Team Edward/Team Jacob (to be read here) but it dawned on me that I don't understand being part of Team Jacob.

I've read the first Twilight book and i've never seen the movies or anything, but I've been told about pieces of it. What I fail to understand is that... Bella ends up with Edward, you know this, I know this... we all know this! Why are people on Team Jacob? This isn't like cheering for the Underdog to pull a surprise win. This is just supporting a failure, it's like watching Titanic and being Team "make it to New York". Sorry, but the boat is still going to fucking sink.

I've never been one for cheering for sports teams, or any teams really, so perhaps that's why I don't understand it. I just feel like people on Team Jacob just sorta pity him... sorta like that really nice guy who just never fully succeeds in getting the girl... it's like Team Duckie. And as I've stated in my past essay It's Sucky being Duckie... I am Duckie... so I guess in theory I'm Jacob. Perhaps I just don't understand people rooting for me.

How I spent my Mountain Vacation

Angela: you're a frigging bad ass

Matt Kelly: seriously I killed a bear with my bare hands

Angela: oooooooooh manly

Matt Kelly: then I used he bears teeth to create a glove and punched the shit out of some sharks

Angela: sharks in the poconos...?

Matt Kelly: fucking global warming

Could the Fright Night Remake Be Good?

Remakes are generally looked down upon. That's understandable, but in my newest editoral on Geekscape I explain why this particular remake won't be nearly as doomed as the remakes of recent years.

A Prologue to a Novel

“Do you feel nervous?” she asked.

“No” I lie as I nervously struggle to tear open the condom in my hands. Of course I’m nervous, but pride or machismo forces me to lie. Why wouldn’t I be nervous, I’m about to have sex with my best friend.

She notices my struggling and informs me that I don’t need to use a condom with her. Of course I do, with a girl in her line of work, you can never be too safe, I lie again however and say that I don’t want to risk getting her pregnant. She smiles a sad little smile which informs me that she definitely saw through the lie, but appreciates me not verbally saying my real reason.

Minutes later she is on top of me. Our affair has official begun. This is the first time in 15 years of friendship that we have shared a moment this intimate. Speaking from the future I know that it’s was far from the last time. Which was actually earlier today. The nervousness has faded, but we still never fuck without a condom, but now it really is out of fear of getting her pregnant. This however, isn’t important information.

This first time, after so many years of longing, is not a very pleasurable experience. I spent the first five minutes of the activity trying to calculate how long it had been since I had last had sex, how many sex partners I’d had before hand, how long I’d known Kar and how long I’d waited for this very moment (2 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and 1 day; 6; 15; 14).

The second half of our recreational activity I spend thinking about how this came to be. How did an unemployed failure like myself end up with someone as beautiful as Kar; free of charge (I hope). Life is funny, but sometimes that alone isn’t interesting enough. I can retell the events in perfect detail, and regardless; this ending still doesn’t make sense; but that’s life I suppose. But that’s beside the point.