Self Observational Sunday - Sorta Writa

I’m a writer. I promise.

I know it’s hard to believe but I am a writer. It’s just that I suck at finishing what I started. Currently I’m working on a variety of different things yet it feels like none of them are even close to completion. Sometimes when I say “I’m a Writer” I feel like a liar. I feel like those guys who drunkenly did an open mic once and start saying they’re a comedian.

Maybe I feel like that because I also do that.

I guess I’m sort of a comedian? I’ve never claimed to be a stand-up comedian. Perhaps I should just say I’m an entertainer. That’d technically cover all the bases; but if I’m not entertaining than I’m a liar once again.

Let’s take a step back in time. If you were to look at my childhood you’d notice that a big chunk of it was spent in front of the TV with my toys. I would ‘direct’ them to recreate stories I had written. In my basement I produced performances of Ghostbuster 3, Jaws 5 & 6 not to mention Ace Ventura 3 and at least 3 different adaptations of X-Men for an audience of myself.

I even have papers I wrote in 1st grade stating that I wanted to make movies when I grew up. This has never stopped; but I’ve been sidetracked multiple times. I’ve been sidetracked over the years with (a) laziness and (b) pop culture obsession. The only thing I like more than creating music, literature, comedy and movies is dissecting them. I love having an audience listening to me. It gives me a thrill. However if you’re a relative nobody like myself (I’m just barely an internet celebrity) no one gives a shit what your opinion is.

AT THIS POINT I’D LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I DON’T ACTUALLY SEE MYSELF AS A GENUINE INTERNET CELEBRITY. I’VE GOT A HIGHER THAN AVERAGE NUMBER OF TWITTER FOLLOWERS, TWO MODERATELY POPULAR PODCASTS, A HANDFUL OF WELL RECEIEVED ESSAYS AND BLOG ENTRIES AND HAVE APPEARED ON A BUNCH OF FAR MORE POPULAR PODCASTS. I’M ONLY AN INTERNET CELEBRITY COMPARED TO PEOPLE WHO JUST LURK ON THE INTERNET OR DON’T OWN A COMPUTER.

I actually have a few scripts I’ve been working on although only one of them is remotely close to being finished (currently in it’s 7th draft) while the rest are in their first or 2nd draft or in most cases just a brief plot outline.

Beyond that I have an idea for a book of essays written in an autobiographical style (very Chuck Klosterman inspired) as well a few columns for websites and magazines. I mean I guess in theory if I have writing assignments than I’m a writer. I just don’t feel like one.

Right now I’m working on an article about Tuesday being the 10 year anniversary of the Chappelle Show premiere; hardly following the dreams of the ambitious five-year old filmmaker. At least thanks to my new years resolution I’m forcing myself to pull from my life and create sincere blogs from a personal place instead of the usual movie/music review.

That being said I have no fucking clue what to write about next week. Shit.