When I was in high school, back before the world of facebook and twitter… everyone in the world had a livejournal. I had such a livejournal and I would update it quite frequently. I specifically remember when I was in my senior year of high school, my last class of the day was a computer education class. It was the easiest A in the world. In a 45 minute class we were required to write one page of text and print it. After that if we had time left over in class (roughly 40 minutes or so) we could just go online. So basically the class was “sit on the internet and get an A”.
I’ll never forget taking a quiz on a website to post on my LJ (what us cool kids called LiveJournal in those days) titled “What John Cusack Character are you?” All I wanted to be was Lloyd Dubler or maybe even LaneMeyer. The result was Rob Gordon from High Fidelity. I remember being upset. Don’t get me wrong, I love High Fidelity but Rob Gordon’s character is a selfish asshole… was I really that? I mean I guess I do love music but still!
Recently though I’ve realized that the survey is extremely accurate. I think most guys wish they were Lloyd Dubler or Lane Meyer because that’s clearly want women want (or act like they want). Lane Meyer is a nerdy guy who gets a little obsessed but he doesn’t let his short comings get the best of him and at the end of the day skis the K12 and gets the French girl (who was far hotter than his original girlfriend anyway). What guy wouldn’t want that ending in their life?
Then there’s Lloyd Dubler, no one exemplifies undying love like Lloyd. The infamous “In your Eyes” moment is gut-wrenching at times because when look at his face it is a face of someone who doesn’t want to live. He doesn’t just like Diane Court, he doesn’t lust over her, he is head-over heels in love with her.
But Rob Gordon? Rob has had multiple relationships (easily more that Lloyd and Lane combined) but he’s never totally satisfied. I re-watched High Fidelity and it saddened me how much I related to Rob. The dialogue he says is painfully close to thoughts I’ve had myself.
I’ve had friends fuck girls they knew I liked. I have girls that are friends in my life that I want nothing more than to be with, but I know it won’t happen and instead have to force smiles when they move on to their new relationship. Granted my relationship life is very limited compared to Rob, but the amount of crushes that I’ve had are quite comparable.
I think at the end of the day, most guys are Rob Gordon, whether they admit it or not. They wonder where they went wrong in relationships, how they fucked up with this person or that person. Who is the new guy your ex is with? Was she seeing him while you were both together? I’ve even wanted to track down some of the past relationships and see if they’re unhappy, just to make myself feel better. Men are strange creatures indeed.
I guess that survey all those years ago were right. I’m just like Rob Gordon… just without a record store.