Monday, February 7, 2011

The Amityville Borer

So I decided to read the "yo, I swear this is totally true" story The Amityville Horror.

I'm not going to lie, after reading it I'm convinced that the events of the book really happened. I say that in the sense that no one could fabricate something this fucking boring and try to sell it as exciting unless it really happened.

The "paranormal" activities for the first 250 pages are completely outrageous claims that all point to MY house being haunted as well. Such frightening things include "waking up at the same time in the middle of the night", "windows breaking during a storm", "The house being cold" and "car trouble".

the wikipedia page for Amityville Horror has a whole list of "events" but my favorite is definitely:

George realized that he bore a strong resemblance to Ronald DeFeo, Jr., and began drinking at The Witches' Brew, the bar where DeFeo was once a regular customer.

So he looks kinda like the guy who committed murders and starts drinking at the same bar... I got a solution... SHAVE YOUR BEARD AND DRINK SOMEWHERE ELSE!

What blows my mind is not only did this boring shit spawn a movie, it spawned about 8 sequels and a remake!

What I concluded was this; the Lutzes clearly THINK they experienced something supernatural. These were based on hearing that they were living in a Murder house, it made them see every day "problems" as a paranormal event. Unless of course, someone admitted that they made the shit up

Reading this all I could think of was the Eddie Murphy routine from RAW

In other news for the five people who liked them... I've retired the mix cd of the month segment in this blog. Sorry.

Also episode 2 of the Saint Mort Show is now up at and if you subscribe to my iTunes account you will be receiving a special iTunes only bonus episode!

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