Self Examination Sunday - Love is the 'I Don't Care'

I will always admit that I'm a hopeless romantic; this has been a fact for quite a few years now. This Valentine's Day (or Skip 45 day as my friends and I celebrate) wasn't filled with depression and gut wrenching sorrow quite like ones in the past. However a few things have occurred that have made this one particularly memorable...

The first instance occurred at work. I work in a small little office and am currently (they just hired a few new people starting next month so who knows if this will change) the only single person in the office. Everyone but me and one other person are married and that other person is currently engaged. One of my co-workers was handing out BlowPops. When she got to me the only blow-pop was Sore Apple. I'm not ungrateful I mean it's better than no Blow-Pop but let's face it Sore Apple is the red-headed stepchild of the Bubble Gum Filled Popsicle family. The people who like Sore Apple are the weirdoes who also enjoy yellow starbursts best.

For weird ass movie night (a weekly event that happens every Thursday at my house) was spent eating pizza with friends and watching Better Off Dead. There's few 'rom-com/teen flicks' that are as bizarre in nature as well as dark humor making light of suicide and depression. It's a delightful film that could never be made in this day and age.

All in all I survived the "holiday" and had a great time throwing a concert for Chords for Cures. But it was last night that my singlehood got thrown n my face by my own mother. I was attending a valentine's day party (a yearly party my friends and I throw that's more about them getting drunk and having a good time than Valentine's Day). While I was at the party my dad was trying to call me; since I was amongst friends I let it go to voicemail. It was immediately after I ignored the call I got a text message from my sister that said "You. Are. Going. To. Kill. Mom". It was at this moment that I got a voicemail from my dad. I was fearful to listen to it. The voicemail stated 'Your mother has signed you up for an online dating site. Just a heads up".

And that's when the ChristianMingle emails started coming in.

Happy Skip 45 everyone.

100 Movies That Make Me Love Film: 51. The Princess Bride

51. The Princess Bride

I’m told that if you didn’t grow up with Princess Bride you don’t love it, but I didn’t seen Princess Bride until I was about 16 years old and I immediately adored it. What’s always bugged me about this movie was that most people (specifically guys) immediately write it off based on nothing more than the title. Admittedly the title sounds like a romance set in the dark ages (which it is) or an animated fantasy film (and it is fantasy) but what the title doesn’t tell you is that it’s hilarious and packed with lots of action.

I remember the first time I saw the movie. It was a Saturday afternoon. I went to a bible study with my close friends Reese, Ken and Andrew. After bible study we’d either go to the mall or hang out at Reese’s house. This particular Saturday Reese had to work so Ken and I went to Andrew’s house and played a game of risk. To pass the time we threw on Princess Bride and I quickly lost the game, part of that would be because I’m awful at Risk but more so it was because I was so pulled into this strange movie.

The film is based on the best-selling novel by William Goldman. I have read the book and I can honestly say that while the movie isn’t a ‘better’ adaptation than the book, it is definitely on equal level of the book and one of the better novel to film adaptations. This had a lot to do with Goldman writing the screenplay as well. Because of this all of Goldman’s weird side characters have remain in the film while a lesser adaptation would have removed them early on in the script writing process.

The movie is a simple concept. An old man reads a book to his sick grandson. As he reads the story we see it acted out. The book is a romantic action and fantasy filled with pirates, giants, torture, sword fights and true love. The sick boy (Fred Savage) represents the audience (again specifically male). Goldman is well aware what the child represents and even has him totally uninterested in hearing the story based solely on the name of it. However he becomes more involved as the film goes on, reacting at dramatic moments and making the story stop whenever it gets too girly.

The star of this film is Goldman’s bizarre and witty dialogue. Characters speak completely outside of the time period and every character has a contradictive nature to their  look. The giant is a poet, the evil wise-guy is super short and the pirate is smooth talking and friendly.

We live in a time period where people discuss remakes and reboots constantly. While I get annoyed when a movie I love is remade, I very rarely get aggressively angry. If a studio were to announce plans to remake this cult classic, there would be an immediate uprising. If you have managed to avoid it this long, make it a point to fix that grave mistake in your cinematic diet.

100 Albums That Make Me Love Music: 51. Mae - The Everglow

51. Mae: The Everglow

I honestly never knew much of anything about Mae until I started trading CD mixes with my friend Lauren Hoot. She put Tisbury Lane on one mix and I couldn’t stop listening to it. It was one of two or three songs on the comp that completely dominated my college years. I bought the album it appeared on (Destination: B-Sides) which was alright by B-side standards but wasn’t exactly a masterpiece. 

That’s when someone told me how brilliant The Everglow was. I decided to take a risk and buy it based on just a recommendation and nothing else. Th album starts off with a little prologue presenting the album as if it were an audio book and immediately kicks into We’re So Far Away. This song is so painfully beautiful that it steals the whole show. This isn’t to say that the album is bad because it’s not (It’s #51 for crying out loud), however while the rest of the album is full of great sing-a-long indie rock/emo tracks I find myself thinking back to that beautiful piano melody and lyrics.

Have you ever heard a song that spoke so true to you that within a few hours of hearing it for the first time you committed the song to memory? That was We’re So Far Away for me. 

Perhaps I’ve talked up this particular track too much? In fact I’m sure I have. It feels impossible to transition into the rest of this album but I will try my best. 

Dave Elkins (lead singer/guitarist)  truly writes fantastic earworm hooks. It’s hard to avoid getting songs like Suspension and Mistakes We Knew We Were Making embedded into your brain. It really is a shame that the band’s discography has been so limited (only 3 full length albums in a ten year career). However the band managed to create a unique sound and develop a solid following from various bands well outside of their “christian label bandmates”.

Also Guitarist Zach Gehring was originally in Unsung Zeroes who’s band appeared on number 88 of the 100 Albums That Make Me Love Music.

Self Observational Sunday - Going Down to Poughkeepsie and Meet some Tapes of Mine

About a month ago a friend lent me a bootleg of The Poughkeepsie Tapes. While I usually don’t support bootlegging (my family however is all about having the latest theatrical release on a shitty grainy DVD) I see it being quite important/useful in cases of the rare/never to be seen-again field. Websites like VHSPS help us get those horror films and 80’s comedies that have yet (and probably will never) had a proper DVD release. Thanks to them instead of spending $150 + on an out of print copy of Fright Night 2 or Fade to Black I only had to pay $10 plus shipping and handling. Is the picture perfect? Fuck no. It’s a VHS transfer (with the original movie trailers at the beginning) but it’s better than nothing. It’s also through bootlegs that I was finally able to see such movies/TV specials they want you to forget like The Star Wars Christmas Special and Bates Motel (a terrible TV Show Pilot/TV Movie starring Bud Cort based on the infamous Psycho Motel). And thanks to bootlegging I was able to finally see The Poughkeepsie Tapes.

I guess saying “finally see” is a bit misleading. While I heard the title mentioned on some message boards and the horror subreddit I really didn’t know much about it until my friend mentioned it to me. I did a little research (while trying to avoid plot details). It seems that the film came out circa 2007, played a few festivals, had a decent response (enough for word of mouth to spread anyway) and then … the end? The film never got a distributor and despite a mild cult following and word of mouth there seems to be zero plans of ever releasing it. I was curious what I was about to see.

Poughkeepsie Tapes is hardly anything ground breaking. It’s like a weird mutant child of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Saw and Cannibal Holocaust. We have a mockumentary (although that word doesn’t properly apply since there’s no comedy its simply a fake documentary) about an extremely busy, violent and uncatchable serial killer who plagued Poughkeepsie, NY and other surround cities. What kept me entangled into the story was the multi-layers of torture and despicableness that our serial killer stoops to. His rein of terror kicks off with the kidnapping and murdering of a small girl and builds from there. Some of these attacks are borderline impossible but that’s part of the fun/mystic of it. It’s not like the film never pretends it’s not a movie (the closing credits don’t just list everyone with “______ as herself” or anything) so there’s no reason to not enjoy it as a piece of entertainment.

The acting isn’t the greatest, in fact at points it’s plain bad. As I said earlier the attacks are most are unrealistic at best but regardless of that a month after watching it… I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve yet to revisit it. Part of me really wants to while another part of me fears disappointment the second time around; I mean to be honest there was disappointment the first time around… but much like when I watched Pink Flamingos for the first time it attached itself to my brain like a tumor.

The first time I ever saw Pink Flamingos was early in my Netflix career. When I first signed up for Netflix the appeal was getting movies that I’d never find at Blockbuster and had heard about for years. This means that Pink Flamingos was probably one of the first 5 movies I got on Netflix. I remember the excitement of watching it, followed by disgust, followed by utter disappointment by the closing credits. I couldn’t throw that DVD into the return envelope fast enough. I sealed it up and throw it in the mailbox. The following night I was hanging out with a good friend and talking about the movie and as I talked and talked I realized something. I desperately wanted to watch the movie again. Since the mailman had already taken the Netflix back I went onto Amazon and bought myself the DVD.

I began watching it repeatedly, memorizing lines, showing it friends and even bringing it to parties (where it was eventually turned off). Now the movie is easily one of my favorite films of all time. I realize that makes me sound like a sick bastard (much like my love of Joel Reed’s Bloodsucking Freaks that I touched on last week) but there was this weird ‘dangerous’ appeal to Pink Flamingos. That is also the appeal for Poughkeepsie Tapes. While I doubt this will be a film I’d ever watch obsessively and bring to parties it does have a danger factor. And that danger factor is that you can only see it as a bootleg.

Much like the Video Nastys of the 80’s and 90s the fact that you can’t legally acquire has given the film an extra level of ‘danger’. Perhaps the reason the Wikipedia page states “it has not be released on DVD and there are no plans to do so”. It definitely adds a nice ‘you aren’t allowed to see this’ factor to it all doesn’t it?

This is the downside of internet piracy for me. These rare gems are too easy to find these days. If I want see something a quick look at piratebay or even youtube and I have it. I miss the hunt. Even though my friend and I could have watched this movie in youtube… there was something far more exciting about tracking down your own personal copy to put on a DVD shelf. Kudos to the people behind Poughkeepsie Tapes for at least trying to keep a feeling of forbidden fruit in horror. While the film doesn’t work on every level it’s supposed to, you are able to look past bad acting and buy into the story because after having to search all over to acquire a copy it doesn’t feel like a movie anymore, it feels like a secret document.

Fuck it, I think I will rewatch it. Maybe.

100 Movies That Make Me Love Film: 52. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

52. Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

I first heard of Scott Pilgrim when Jonathan London describe the comic as a must read. I immediately went to the local comic shop and picked up the past and present issues. I fell head over heels with the book. I was literally Scott Pilgrim (as in I was 21 dating an 18 year old asian high schooler and getting picked on by my friends). 

Scott Pilgrim filled the void Harry Potter left between my best friend Jeff and I. When the Harry Potter book series was still incomplete we’d go to diners late at night and discuss the potential conclusions to the story. Then the series ended. Scott Pilgrim popped in at just the right time for us to discuss and attempt to figure out how the book would end.

When the movie was announced I continued to get more and more excited with each piece of news. They were casting the right people for each role, they had Edgar Wright directing which was also the right person. I couldn’t wait to see the movie (but refused to do so until I had read the final book of the series). 

When I finally saw the film it was at a free screening in Philly and I adored it. This movie had the potential to be terrible since the book is a very strange it was very possible that the movie would make zero sense. Luckily Wright found a way to keep all the video game and pop culture references in tack without losing the audience.

I was disappointed by how poorly this movie did and the general backlash towards Michael Cera. While I think he did have a long period of time playing the same type of character movies like Youth in Revolt and Scott Pilgrim show him expanding his acting a little bit but still failed to draw attention. 

This is also one of those movies with perfect soundtracks. Every song is so well used including the original music from Beck. I remember being excited when he was announced as the person who’d craft the songs of Sex Bob-Omb. My friends who only knew Beck as a weird indie artist didn’t think he’d pull off the right “shitty garage sound”. However being that one of my favorite songs by him was Motherfucker off Mellow Gold I had no doubt he could make the songs work.

There will never be another movie like Scott Pilgrim Vs The World and I’m pretty glad that this will always remain the most unique comic book-romantic-comedy-action film of it’s kind.

100 Albums That Make Me Love Music: 52. Weston: Matinee

52. Weston: Matinee

The first time I ever heard Weston was a friend’s band who used to cover one of their songs. The song was Old Shirt/Heather Lewis from their album Got Beat Up. Got Beat Up is a straight up pop-punk good time and arguably an under-appreciated masterpiece of the genre. The follow up Matinee sounds like a completely different band by comparison.

It’s sad how unknown this band is when their style and sound was leaps and bounds ahead of the masses. Matinee is to Weston what Pinkerton was to Weezer. It’s packed with personal stories, love songs and satire. It’s extremely critical towards the Radio and the Music Industry.

The albums plays out like a movie by beginning and ending with the sound of a projector. To even further push the "movie" theme the lyrics are written in the main booklet in a "screenplay" format.

The opening track (appropriately named Opening Chord) is about how unoriginal music is. Lead singer Jim Synder sings "You probably heard this melody line before/I thought it up at the Grocery store/So stop your engines and start the press/I probably ripped you off, yeah that's my guess". The theme of unoriginal music continues into the next track Record Store, the closing track Radio and the fourth track Indie Rock Star when Jim chants "We're just a plain old indie rock band/We're bigger than the Beatles ever were" The stand out track on this album is also the shortest track. The 2:25 song Mrs. Perfect Girl is everything that a good old-fashion pop punk should be about. It's short, it's sweet, it's to the point and most importantly, it's very catchy

Am I saying that this is an album that should be owned by everyone on the planet? Not at all, but this is the type of CD that when you listen to it you want to pick up a guitar and start your own band.

Self Observational Sunday: Invasion of the Nostalgic Nostalgia

Sometimes I feel like I’m cursed to live in the past.

This isn’t to say that I never live the moment because I must certainly do; but I find myself constantly be overwhelmed by memories of high school, college and even a few years ago after college. These attacks come from random triggers when I least expect it. However in recent weeks there were two MAJOR ones.

I have anxiety issues. This is probably NOT shocking to anyone. I remember last summer my family rented a beach house in Ocean City, Maryland. No one but myself was able to go down for the first day so I spent the night alone down there reading Cider House Rules by John Irving and watching Simpsons episodes. It was definitely eerie being in a unknown house completely alone once it got dark out. I went upstairs to sleep and just as I was beginning to fall asleep (around midnight) the window slammed shut. I immediately leaped from my bed screaming and ran to the window. While I didn’t see anyone out there (because it wasn’t the fucking Twilight Zone) I was convinced someone had broken in and was going to kill me, so I did the only logical thing. Locked the bedroom door and stayed up watching movies until sunrise when I finally felt comfortable going to sleep again. The point of this story is that when I get a thought in my brain I can’t stop over thinking it and keeps me up all night.

In order to fight against this irrational anxiety and paranoia I’ve started going to bed listening to DVD commentary tracks. I find that forcing my brain to focus on something else (like a director discussing camera shots) offers enough distraction to allow me to fall asleep before my brain can create imaginary fears for me to battle. I’ve slowly been working my way through my DVD collection and am currently on the letter B (I own a lot of DVDs).

The movie I was listening to the commentary track of was Bloodsucking Freaks. As strange as this sounds but this film was one of the defining movies of my college years. It was in college that I became a Troma fan. I’d always enjoyed their films. I had seen Toxic Avenger 1-3 and that summer I had purchased Cannibal The Musical! after hearing praises for it over the years. But it was in college that I got a Netflix account and started receiving films like Tromeo & Juliet, Terror Firmer and Bloodsucking Freaks in my mailbox. Every time a film arrived a group of us would sit and watch the movie. Bloodsucking Freaks became this weird, disturbing film that we’d take to parties to watch people struggle to watch it. Most of these screenings took place in my grandmother’s basement. I loved that basement, it was the ultimate hangout spot. The only downside to it was that there wasn’t a door directly into the basement so people would have to come in through the garage.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. Not because of anxiety but because I was too busy being sucked into Eli Roth’s hilarious deadpan delivery in his outrageous commentary track. It made me miss the days in the basement, playing Super Soccer Shoot-out, staying up late watching movies, playing Risk. It was a time and an activity and a place that could only exist at the age of 18-22. It makes me realize I’m not satisfied.

You see, I complain that I haven’t changed much since I was 18. That I feel like the rest of the world as gotten married, gotten real jobs, had kids, own homes, etc and that I’m still working a dead end job and single. Yet when I actually have a real job or am in a sort of relationship I panic. I fear that the beautiful way of life I cherish will be destroyed by these things and I retreat. The dream life for me would be finding a job that makes me feel young and allows me to still waste time with my friends (which gets harder and harder with them actually growing up). This may seem like an impossible goal… but last Saturday I saw how impossible it wasn’t.

When I was in college I used to throw various concerts in the area under the promotion name Chords for a Cure. After college it sorta just stopped due to the busy-ness of the Real World. However the passion for it never went away. I missed throwing shows and befriending bands. I eventually decided it was time to bring it back and in December we threw our first show. It was a fun show with a decent turn out (about 40ish kids)… but last week we threw our 2nd show and it was like jumping in a time machine.

The nostalgia effect was mostly brought on by the fact that 3 of the bands playing were composed of members for 4 bands I used to book. Beyond that former members of their old bands all came out to the show to support them and Chords. Afterwards a group of 40 of us descended upon the local diner and reminisced on the old days. Something I noticed was that all these guys (for the most part) had given up the dream of being a rockstar on tour. Their band was a fun thing to do locally and nothing more. Why? Because they found jobs they loved. Be it teaching English, being a music teacher or a really anything they have interest in. Playing in a band is just a fun bonus.

I need to make the things I love a fun bonus to a great life; not just a reason to get through the week. This isn't just about me and my life... this is for everyone.