If Only They Could Tour

I've stated in some previous entries that I'm always open for people submitting their own list for me to build. Last week my friend Lauralie Navo suggested I do a list of fictional groups. I figured I'd do a list of 5, in the end I had over 40 bands and solo artists. I made some cuts and then enforced rules which basically took the most obvious answers off my list.

If the band released any album outside the soundtrack for the movie and/or toured I could no longer consider them entirely 'fictional'. Thus Spinal Tap, Tenacious D and Blues Brothers will not be appearing on this list.

Now without any further delay
THE 17 BEST FICTIONAL MUSICIANS OF POP CULTURE

17. LOVE BURGER (Can't Hardly Wait)

Our 17th band never played a note, but you can't tell me you weren't extremely curious about them. They looked like a group of friends who formed a band strictly to get more friends. Half look like they'd be in Phish while (as the movie states) another looks like Prince. Regardless I'd pay money to see them even if their set was just a 45 minute long break-up.

16. N.W.H. (Niggaz With Hats) - (Fear of a Black Hat)

Niggaz With Hats is the gangsta rap group from the mocumentary Fear of a Black Hat. They film was a financial flop despite critical praise. While it's much like CB4 this parody covers much more group of the music industry circa 1994. We see the hypocrisy of members Ice Cold, Tone Def and Tasty Tastes and their over-the-top personalities as their band rises to fame and then splits into solo projects.

15. Du Jour - (Josie and the Pussycats)

Now people are going to be rioting in the streets when they read this whole article and don't see 2ge+her on the list at all. But I was always more of a Du Jour fan. Featuring half the members of the previously mentioned Loveburger Du Jour covered everything we loved about boy bands. They bragged about their fame (Du Jour Around the World) but they also opened up to us about how much love they have to give (Backdoor Lover). They were the greatest boy band in the world, until their unfortunate plane crash.

14. Wyld Stallyns (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure/Bogus Journey)

Bill and Ted's group Wyld Stallyns wrote a song so amazing that it turned the world into the most peaceful planet of all time. It only makes sense that the song would be "God Gave Rock N Roll To You" by Kiss (which is actually a cover Argent). Look how happy everyone is and how sick the guitar licks are. Who wouldn't love this band!

13. Pop (Music and Lyrics)

Music and Lyrics is one of the most under-rated romantic comedies ever made. As a fan of 80's music the satire on one hit wonders of that decade is solid. Pop was the WHAM of this particular universe. They had one maybe two big hits but then were never heard from again... sort of. The 'George Michael' character had a great future but this movie follows the OTHER member (in this case named Alex Fletcher. Alex is content with his life performing at high school reunions and amusement parks after an unsuccessful attempt as a solo artist.

12. The Folksmen (A Mighty Wind)

A Mighty Wind follows some folk groups of the 60's reuniting to honor their old producer. Admittedly Mickey and Mitch's song "Kiss At the End of the Rainbow" is one of the most beautiful songs ever written for a soundtrack, but The Folksmen is the group I'd want to see. Their set in the film is one of the most awkward 10 minutes in cinema but their songs are all so diverse and catchy. Their hit "Old Joe's Place" is something I literally find myself singing throughout my day. I do love folk music though.

11. CB4 (CB4)

CB4 will always be Chris Rock's finest achievement. The story is very similar to Fear of a Black Hat (although admittedly CB4 came out first) so I won't go over all the details. What I will say is that CB4's music was catchy and vile at the same time. With their controversial hits Sweat from my Balls and Straight outta Locash it's no wonder it's the most dangerous fictional rap group of all time.

10. The Wonders (That Thing You Do!)

That Thing You Do! tells the story of The Wonders; the fictional American Beatles (or what could have been anyway). It shows the rise and fall of a one-hit wonder group. Regardless of the fact this song doesn't actually exist didn't stop the song itself from being one of the catchiest songs ever written. Special thanks to Fountains of Wayne bassist Adam Schlesinger (who wrote many songs for movies including the previously mentioned Music and Lyrics)

9. Three Times One Minus One (Mr. Show)

Mr. Show is still one of the greatest sketch comedy shows ever produced. It did everything that shows like Saturday Night Live and MadTV weren't. It was edgy, random and most importantly fucking hilarious. One of their few 'reoccuring' characters was the terrible R/B group Three Times One Minus One who's hit song "Eww Eww" made them one of the greats!
Honorable Mention also to Titanica who inspired the title of Blink 182's Adam's Song

8. Robin Sparkles (How I Met Your Mother)

Before becoming a News Reporter in New York, Robin Scherbatsky was a teen pop sensation in Canada. She released such hit singles as Let's Go to the Mall and Sandcastles in the Sand. While her fame was short lived her songs stood the test of time (in Canada). If Robin Sparkles decided to do a 20 year anniversary tour I'd buy tickets... and admit it, so would you

7. The Beets (Doug)

If you were a kid of the late-80's/early-90s you grew up watching NickToons. What's weird was even if you didn't like some shows, you still watched them anyway. Not everyone liked Doug; but EVERYONE liked The Beets. They were a strange sort-of British sort-of Rock band with super bizarre songs. They demanded more allowance, they warned us of Killer Tofu and the occasionally couldn't find their sock. One of the most memorable episodes of the show (for me anyway) centered around Doug and Skeeter trying to get to a show and ending up back stage after hitching a ride with their old tour manager (who claimed it was his sock they were singing about in the song Where's My Sock)

6. Sex Bob-omb (Scott Pilgrim & The World)

Sex Bob-omb is Scott Pilgrim's band. They're a sloppy garage band but they climb the charts anyway with their hits like Garbage Truck. It's expected that the music would be pretty solid having been written by a musical genius like Beck. However all three actors play their actual instruments. I found this extremely cool.

5. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (The Muppet Show)

The Muppet Show wouldn't quite be the Muppet Show if it wasn't for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. They were the most over the top, in your face band of foam rubber in history. They did mostly cover songs on the TV series, at one point destroying a Bach piece but the originals in the movie (specifically Can You Picture That) are toe-tapping masterpieces.

4. Powerline (A Goofy Movie)

I will never be able to explain it; but somehow A Goofy Movie went from being an obscure disney film that was only moderately successful to being every kid from my generation's favorite movie. I'm not going to argue with it though, because the movie brilliant. When it came out there were rumors that Powerline was voiced by Michael Jackson, that's clearly not true but it doesn't stop the songs from being amazing. Besides he's obviously inspired by M.J.

3. Mystic Sprial (Daria)

I've blogged about my love of Daria previously, so I don't want to repeat old territory. I will say this much. Daria's depiction of Garage rock through Trent and his band Mystic Spiral was brilliant. Their songs were always bad but yet, at times you wouldn't be shocked if they were written by someone like Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vender. My personal favorite lyric was from the Daria TV Movie Is it Fall Yet? song Freakin' Friends with the line 'when dead clowns, can't clown'

2. The Lone Rangers (Airheads)

Airheads is one of my guilt pleasures. It's basically a parody/remake of King of Comedy, but it's still hilarious. It follows a grunge band trying to make their big break but are constantly having doors closed in their face. Finally they start to develop a following, but only as criminals holding up a radio station to get their record played. Their single Degenerated is actually a cover of the Reagan Youth song from 1990. Personally, I prefer the film version.

1. Josie and the Pussycats (Josie and the Pussycats)

Josie and the Pussycats is without a doubt the most underrated movie of the 2000's. Beyond being one of the funniest films ever (and thus why 2 of the fake musical groups made the list) it also has the best soundtrack in a long time. The entire soundtrack is of course just Josie's album. All of the songs were written by Adam Schlesinger (previously mentioned for writing That Thing you Do!) and performed by Kay Hanley of Letters to Cleo. If you were disappointed by her bands break up, the soundtrack acts like a follow-up to Go!

Top 5 Greatest Closing Tracks

One of my favorite websites is Absolutepunk.net. Today one of the big topics was your top 5 favorite closing tracks. I scanned the list and wanted to avoid repeats so these were the top 5 favorite closing tracks no one else had mentioned. This basically meant that my list would basically be the same but with A Day in the Life by the Beatles on the list.

5. Castaway - Punchline - When I listened to Punchline's 3rd album Just Say Yes I was blown away. Everyone praised Action in my circle of friends. I enjoyed the CD but I didn't find it life-changing in anyway. So I never picked up their follow-up album 37 Everywhere. In the summer of 2007 my friend shot a pilot for a Fox Series called "Singledom" and their song Somewhere in the Dark was the theme song. Sadly the show wasn't picked up, but I fell in love with the theme song. As soon as Just Say Yes came out i bought it and was blown away. This was not the band I remembered. Castaway is a slow song but it perfectly sums up the message of the album. While 37 Everywhere dealt with rejection and break-ups; Just Say Yes was about overcoming that break up. Castaway is the perfect final note to that album.

4. In The Music Box - Atmosphere - When i first heard When Life Gives you Lemons, Paint that Shit Gold I wasn't a big fan. It was good, but i missed the bizarre beats like the one's Ant presented on Lucy Ford or the poetic personal lyrics Slug laid down in godlovesugly... but over time I started to appreciate the brilliance of the album. Instead of autobiographical stories Slug sang of fictional characters. Closing track In The Music Box tells the story of a struggling musician on the road with his father. It's beautiful, touching and also at time funny.

3. Stay Positive - The Streets - Original Pirate Material ranks with Dog Problems, Whatever & Ever Amen, Come away With me and Turn the Radio Off as one of my all-time favorite albums. The album presents a dreary portrait of life in London. The Album is also the number 1 reason why I want to eventually visit London. Track after Track Mike Skinner presents different versions of London, promotes the reasons why pot is safer than alcohol and taught us that 'birds = bitches in europe'. However the closing track Stay Positive is the highlight of the album. The Song just SOUNDS like a rainy alleyway. The lyrics are completely depressing a negative and then ironically followed up with "Just Gotta Stay Positive".

2. Evaporated - Ben Folds Five - As stated above Whatever and Ever Amen ranks as one of my five favorite albums ever made. Evaporated has been my favorite Ben Folds song since I first heard Ben Folds. I've written scripts named after it, I wrote climatic scenes around the song, I sing this song in the shower. It's so haunting sad but yet beautiful, but worse of all, it's catchy as fuck. The bridge "I poured my heart out, but it evaporated" perfectly sums up the emotion of being in love with someone and suddenly... you're not. You can't help it, you can't control it... it just happens.

1. Every New Day - Five Iron Frenzy - Five Iron Frenzy is my all-time favorite band. They were one of the most entertaining, energetic and funny live bands of all time. Their 3 hour documentary Rise and Fall of Five Iron Frenzy is fascinating and nostalgia inducing. Every New Day has been the closing song to 3 Five Iron albums (Our Newest Album Ever!, Proof That the Youth Are Exploding, The End is Here) and has been the closing song to every Five Iron song since it was written. Seeing this song performed live was always a magical moment; regardless of your belief structure it's impossible to be moved by the overly poetic lyrics from Reese Roper and even more difficult to not become overwhelmed as the crowd around you sings along with the minute long bridge "Man vs. Himself/Man Vs. Machine/Man Vs. The World/Mankind vs. Me/The Struggles go on/The Wisdom I lack/The Burdens keep piling/ Up on my back/So hard to breathe/To Take the next Step/The Mountain is high/I wait at depths/Yearning for Praise/And hoping for peace/Dear God Increase/Healing hands/Of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again/Jesus Christ/Light of the world/Burning bright within our hearts forever/Freedom/Beens love without conditional/without a beginning or an end/Here's my heart/Let it be forever yours/Only you can make/Every new day seem so new"




Honorable Mentions:
Colin Hay - Just Don't think I'll Ever Get Over You (Transcendental Highway)
The Format - If Work Permits (Dog Problems)
Notorious B.I.G. - Suicidal Thoughts (Ready to Die)

Top 10 Albums From 10 Years Ago - 2000 Edition

Today Geekscape released it's Top 10 Albums of 2010 and if you read it that you saw my list (I assume I'm at the end of the article like secret after-thought). I did this Last Year and people seemed to like it (Editors Note: by People Matt means of course himself) (editor's Note on Editors Note: Matt is his own Editor this is a bizarre multiple personalities thing, Matt should be committed)

ANYWAY I know you're all waiting so here are the TOP 10 ALBUMS FROM 10 YEARS AGO (2000 Edition):

10. The Dandy Warhols: Thirteen Tales from urban Bohemia



The Dandy Warhols have always been a bit of the go-to Hipster band. Regardless on however “overrated” you may find them; their third album is their masterpiece. All the tracks flow into each so wonderfully that it almost feels like one long song. The stand-out track is their hit single “Bohemian like you” with such catchy tongue-in-cheek lyrics like “Hey, I wait tables too/No I haven’t heard your band, but you guys are pretty new”. Other tracks became TV show theme songs. One inparticular (Solid) became the them for Undeclared one of the greatest TV shows ever.

9. Soul-Junk: 1956


The first time I ever heard of Soul-Junk it was seeing them open up for Five Iron Frenzy. They were completely out of place, the show consisted of 2 pop punk bands, 2 ska bands and then soul-junk a strange hip-hop/experimental/electronica group. I picked up their double album 1955 and was frankly disappointed. The fun dancy hip-hop was almost nowhere to be seen except a few tracks here and there. However, I was obsessed with the song Ill-M-I which I found on an old 5 Minute Walk Comp. Eventually I tracked down a copy of 1956 and was blown away, here was the Soul-Junk I knew. Not as religiously explicit this album focused more on just having good catchy jams, interesting beats and sweet ass rhymes. The stand-out track is Sea Monsters & Gargoyles featuring Pigeon John possibly the most under-appreciated hip-hop rapper ever.

8. Dilated Peoples: The Platform



Dilated People’s debut album is the definition of game changer. While hip-hop was demonated with mostly violent and misogynstic gangster rap; the Dilated Peoples came from the Alternative Hip-hop/Native Tongue style of hip-hop of telling detailed stories that were emotionally driven. Did these album ever really change the face of hip-hop? Not completely, but you can’t help listen to it and start to miss the days of hip-hop where Emcee’s had DJs who were turntablists instead of just a guy who played beats from his computer.

7. Del Tha Funkee Homosapian: Both Sides of the Brain



Del is most famous for being Ice Cube’s cousin and the rap vocals on the first Gorillaz album. This is a shame since Del is tight as fuck rapper. This album is so deliciously perfect that you can easily find yourself listening to it on repeat for days at a time. Be it his cautionary tale of the dangers of drunk driving (Skull & Crossbones) or his gamer bragging rights (Proto Culture) one thing is obvious, Del is a bad-ass emcee, who’s still down to earth.

6. Marilyn Manson: Holy Wood



Manson’s fuck you to critics is possibly the best album of his career. After the terrible columbine tragedy, Manson kinda hide himself from public eye, this album shows him attacking the very media that attacked him. With his on going motto of Guns, God and Government Manson intelligently presents to the listeners ways in which the Bible and Government & News Stations promote violence in a much more dangerous way than Manson does.

5. Eminem: The Marshall Mathers LP



Marshall Mathers is a man with A LOT of problems. While Slim Shady LP was a funny and witty album poking fun at celebrities, drugs, violence and Eminem himself. Marshall Mathers is a diary of a darky haunted man. Taking his own name in the albums title is just the beginning of this auto-biographical story of a boy who comes from nothing, can’t handle his fan-base or fans and thinks about murdering his wife and mother constantly. Is it dark? Yes Is it Twisted? Yes Is it Beautiful? Yes… conclusion fuck you Kanye West… THIS album should have been called My Dark Twisted Beautiful Fantasy.

4. Our Lady Peace: Spirtiual Machines



Inspired by the futuristic novel The Age of Spiritual Machines, Our Lady Peace went from being “that Canadian band that sounds like Smashin Pumpkins” to a rock group worthy of our attention. It wasn’t that the band was releasing bad records before this, but none of their albums gripped our attention quite like this one. Mixing readings from inventor Raymond Kurzweil’s book and hopeless and dark lyrics Our Lady Peace shows us a vision of Dystopia that we can only pray never actually comes.

3. Outkast: Stankonia



Stankonia came out of nowhere and left the whole world confused as to what we just heard… and it did it in a good way. Blending damn near every genre with hip-hop Outkast created the most unique and original hip-hop album of the decade and possibly of all time. From the heavy metal influenced Gasoline Dreams, to the bluesy Ms Jackson to your in your face club bass-n-drum beats of Bombs over Bagdad this album has something for everyone. On to of it all, it contains various skits that are actually funny (a rarity in rap music).

2. Eels: Daisies of the Galaxy



Mark Oliver Everett is one depressed but hopeful dude. However unlike most musicians he’s earned the right to be this depressed. After losing his sister and his mom being diagnosed with cancer he penned “Electro-Shock Blues” (one of the most beautiful albums ever recorded). His follow-up Daisies of the Galaxy continues where Electro-Shocked left off. At this point Mark (Stage Name E) was the last surviving member of his family blood line. That loneliness is the main driving force in this album and each track is sadder than the one before. “It’s a Motherfucker” is a vulgar but heartfelt song about the pains of missing a loved one (I assume it’s in reference to his mother).

1. Jurassic 5: Quality Control



Jurassic 5 took the Jazz influenced Alternative hip-hop created by groups like De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest and completely perfected it’s sound. There’s not a single track on Quality Control to NOT like. Using such creative samples as James Brown, The Barbershop-y HiLos or the funky Blowfly the whole album is practically a “how-to” guide to making incredibly catchy and perfect hip-hop. Make sure you check out the closing track the instrumental sample-heavy Swing Set.