Friday, October 31, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 31: Night of the Living Dead (1990)

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 31: Night of The Living Dead (1990) (Movie #340)

I always loved this remake. It does the things I want to see in a remake. It sticks to the original as closely as possible but still does it's own unique twists on things. The plot is simple enough. The dead raise from their graves and a group of strangers find themselves hiding out in a house together trying to figure out what's going on and how to survive.

The script follows the original pretty closely until about halfway when they make one major change that (a) improves the film and (b) makes this it's own unique version of the story. Barbara toughens up. In the previous movie Barbara (at best) was a screaming prop, in this movie she raises up to the insanity and becomes a leader.


This lone element not only changes the tone of the film but also the ending (for better or worse) to the original. The biggest issue with this remake is that is loses some of the racial commentary in the previous film. HOWEVER I also question how intentional that was originally or if people saw it and Romero just went along with it.

All in all this was a fun and quick little film to end this years 31 Days of Halloween. I lucked out. 


Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 30: Xtro

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 30: Xtro (Movie #509)

Xtro was one of those films I always read about on Horror Sites but could never find. My local video stores all seemed to have only purchased the sequels for some reason. It wasn't until about two years ago when I bought the double disc DVD of Xtro 1 and 2 that I finally saw the movie.

Going into rewatching this the only thing I remembered about the movie was the infamous birthing scene. Alien has it's chest-burster which terrified me as a kid (when I saw it parodied in Spaceballs) but it holds nothing to watching a woman give birth to a full grown man. It's so gross and disturbing that you simply have to applaud the film as whole for that moment alone. That being said, there's a lot to applaud with this movie.



There's no downtime in this movie. Not a single second of it's running time is wasted. It starts off with the alien abduction of a boy's father, we jump to three years later instantly with the boy having nightmares and bleeding all over his bed (but not his blood) and by ten minutes we're introduced to an awesome practical effect alien and the insane birthing sequence I mentioned earlier. 

I'll stop beating around the bush. This movie was fucking awesome. I don't know how I forgot how awesome it was. In fact as soon as I finish writing this I'm going to rewatch parts 2 and 3 and see how they hold up.  

So closing notes. Watch this. It's probably my favorite film I watched this month. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 29: Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4 - The Dream Master

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!
Day 29: A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4 - The Dream Master (Movie #346)

The Dream Master starts off with a lot going against it. It's not easy following The Dream Warriors (arguably the best horror sequel of all time). This film also gets a ton of flake for being the film that turned Freddy into a straight up stand-up comedian. Watching the 4 hour documentary Never Sleep Again there's a lot of behind-the-scenes stories that explain a lot about why this movie feels the way it does. Specifically the amount of times Robert England and Director Renny Harlin refer to this as the MTV Generation Freddy.


That being said, looking past that issue (and a handful of other flaws) this movie isn't that bad. I certainly prefer it over the next entry The Dream Child. The biggest reason I always like this movie is the cockroach kill which I think is the best death in this franchise (and possibly horror in general). It's so gross, disturbing and taps into my hate of bugs that it will always strike a chord with me.

The other plus is Renny's directorial choices. The scene in which Kristen is falling asleep due to sleeping pills her mom cooked into her diner has some incredible camera movements and the cockroach kill I mentioned earlier has a surreal moment where Freddy throws a barbell at the audience causing a mirror to shatter.

There's also some bad ideas. Like the invisible karate sequence. It's probably best we forget that ever happened in a movie.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 28: The Beast

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!
Day 28: The Beast (Movie #35)

I love and miss the days of the TV Movie/Mini-Series. It always seemed like one of the best places for horror novel adaptations. The 90's had a ton of classic mini-series' Stephen King's IT!, The 10th Kingdom and this THE BEAST based on the novel by Peter Benchley.

I love this mini-series. Even though it hasn't aged well, that almost makes me love it more. I love films that take place at sea, they are the few horror films that terrify me. Peter Benchley is amazing at creating tales of that claustrophobic feeling of being trapped at sea with a beast underneath you.


Now if you've seen the superior film Jaws than you've already seen The Beast. It's the exact same story just with a squid in place of the shark. Jaws is a superior film but I think The Beast is a superior book (Jaws might be one of the worst books I've ever read. Please let me hate mail in the comments). A small town is terrorized by a giant squid, it's up to a group of local fishermen to kill it. 

While the special effects aren't that great, they're actually pretty impressive for a TV-Movie. In general the squid looks cool throughout and really that's all I ask for. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Monday, October 27, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 27: Species

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!
Day 27: Species (Movie #441)

I remember watching this movie during a birthday sleepover in like 5th or 6th grade. There was one reason we wanted to watch it. Boobs. What can I say, I was a cliche'd prepubescent kid. However luckily for me the movie was pretty good!

It's been quite a few years since I've seen this movie. I just recently purchased it when a store was having a going out of business sale. The only things I remembered from watching it as a child was the nudity, the "kiss of death" scene and the very last shot. Watching it now I was most shocked by how well known the cast is. Also while she hasn't been in a big film in a while Natasha Henstridge is still absolutely gorgeous.



The story follows a group of scientists who must track and kill an alien/human hybrid created by a Government organization. Her primary goal is to mate and reproduce as quickly as possible. She will kill anything that gets in her way (ripping the spine out of a rival woman for example). 

What really shocked me was how hard it was to watch the beginning of the film where a young Michelle Williams is transformed into a cocoon. She has no control over what's happening to her and begins crying and clawing at her face and hands where tentacles begin to stem out of her. It reminds you that she didn't choose this, she was created. It's rare that you actually have a moment where you feel genuine sympathy for the "villain" in a horror movie.

I recently rewatched Splice from a few years ago and if you're looking for a double feature, this and Splice are perfect.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 26: Dead Alive

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!
Day 26: Dead Alive (Movie #110)

There are some movies that you will never forget the first time you saw it. At the time I had a friend named Adam that we would rent and watch horror movies together every weekend. I had read multiple times about Dead Alive on websites like Video Graveyard and BadMovies.org, the back cover provided lots of prepubescent nightmare fuel for me years earlier and the advertisement bragging "the goriest movie ever made" all forced me to HAVE to watch this movie.

This is a movie that you don't see, you experience it. While I enjoy watching this film by myself it's definitely a film that works ever better with a big group. As far as plot goes there's nothing super new. It's a zombie movie and follows most of the rules of zombie movies. It's the sense of humor, the level of gore and the general insanity and fast pace that makes this film stand out amongst the rest.


After watching this movie I don't think I was affected by gore ever again. I was completely desensitized to it until recently when films like Hostel and Human Centipede upped the levels of gore and tried to make everything more realistic. For me I'll always prefer the over the top cartoon violence of this infamous film. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 25: Ghoulies

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!
Day 25: Ghoulies (Movie #207)

Ghoulies is half of a decent movie. Of the three Ghoulies films I've seen and own (there are 4 in total) this has been my least favorite since forever. The film has too much going on in it with it's rituals and midgets and sorcery. The highlights of the film is whenever the cheesy Ghoulies puppets are on screen.

Future films were far superior because it usually involved someone accidentally summoning the Ghouluies and them tearing shit up. In general the film is more famous for it's poster/cover than being a watchable film.


In general this film was a bore. There was nothing new to be learned from rewatching it except that I wanted to watch Ghoulies II immediately after it was over (and thankfully I got the 2-in-1 DVD and did just that).

Sorry for it being such a short one. I was really bored by most of this movie. Fun fact though, according to my parents this was the first film we ever rented "as a family." I was about 2. I'm sure I fell asleep during it. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Friday, October 24, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 24: Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 24: Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla (Movie #41)

This is one of the most movies I own and I'm completely okay with that. This is one of those movies where during the entire 74 minutes all you can think is "someone approved this". It's one of the most incredibly baffling films I've ever watched.

This is just barely a "horror movie" in fact it's not a horror movie. The only horror elements are (a) the presence of Bela Lugosi and (b) a plot involving brain swapping… basically this is as much of a horror film as say… Abbot & Costello Meet Frankenstein.


This piece of cinema is the only film starring Duke and Sam. The duo was basically a duplicate of Dean and Jerry, this film basically killed their career before it even came out. When word spread that two impersonators were getting their own film many people (including Jerry Lewis) were furious and did everything in their power to make sure Duke and Sam never worked again. The duo split and remained mostly unseen excluding a few cameos in B-movies. 

The plot-line is confusing, bad and ends with one of the most cliche'd endings imaginable. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who wants to see it but I promise IT'S nothing you ALL couldn't hAve DREAMed up.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 23: Friday the 13th (2009)

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 23: Friday the 13th (2009) (Movie #190)

Of all the big name slashers (Freddy, Jason, Myers, Chucky and Pinhead) I've only ever seen two of them on the big screen (Halloween H20 and this). So for that reason alone there will probably always be a special place in my heart for this remake that most people hated.

Let me start off the bat by saying I by no means think this is a great or even a good movie, but I do defend it. The reason is that it's not a terrible remake. In fact to compare it to last week's Nightmare on Elm Street this film is at least enjoyable.

The thing that helps this movie is that while it's a retelling/revamp/reboot/whatever you call it the film works as a sequel. They rush through the first film in the first 30 seconds (the same way basically every F13 sequel before it has) and the only elements ripped from previous films are the burlap sack and hockey mask. Unlike some other sequels that try to recreate moments from the original series this film at least treats itself like it's own movie with it's own unique version of Jason.


This is usually referred to as Jason and the Pot Farm due to the plot lines of "kids trying to find an infamous strain of weed" and the fact that Jason is more of a "stay off my property" killer than a "driven by a blood thirst" killer.  While I won't say this isn't a fair complaint I simply can't say this is the worst Jason movie ever. This may be stupid, but it's still better than Jason Takes Manhattan.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 22: The Last Exorcism

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 22: The Last Exorcism (Movie #297)

Right off the bat I'm not a fan of found footage nor exorcism movies. However every once and a while I'll stumble upon a movie that I found entertaining or interesting enough that I decide to buy it when I see it on sale. That's basically The Last Exorcism in a nutshell. It's not a perfect movie but it's definitely worth the $4.99 at Best Buy price tag.

The biggest issue with the movie is not the plot (which is pretty good) but the length of the movie vs the length of time this story needed to be told. The film is short (maybe an hour and 20 minutes) but it doesn't really present anything insanely different than what the average exorcism movie hasn't already done. It also doesn't present found footage in anything new and interesting.



Instead of wasting so much time on unnecessary story and character development I think this film would have worked much better as a short in one of the V/H/S movies. It has all the elements you look for in one of those stories and probably would have ended up being the highlight of the film, instead of just being a fun but mostly mediocre film.

Again the movie isn't terrible (hell I'd go as far to say it's good). It's just fairly forgettable and overall average. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 21: Freaks

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 21: Freaks (Movie #178)

This movie used to haunt my dreams. My grandfather was a massive movie buff (specifically the oldies) and would collect books about the history of film. I remember flipping through one book that had a chapter about Freaks and seeing the images and being terrified.

For years I'd read about this film and it's legacy. I remember being in high school when I walked to my local Blockbuster and found the VHS for sale there. I immediately purchased it, ordered a cheesesteak and rushed home to watch it while I had my dinner.

I want to take a brief detour to discuss how much I miss that feeling of discovering a video that you had searched out for years. With the  internet and piracy and everything getting big DVD/Blu-Ray releases it has put an end to "the hunt"… I miss it.


If not for it's unique cast of real life side-show freaks this film would just be a crime/romance/revenge story like something out of an E.C. comic. It follows a midget who falls for the woman on the flying trapeze. When she discovers that this little person is rich she plans to marry and kill him. When the rest of the freaks learn of her plot they exact their own brand of justice on her.

The message of the movie as I've always interrupted it is a juxtaposition. While these friends are "weird"or "hideous" the true monsters in the film are the two most normal looking characters. 

The twist ending (though spoiled for me in pictures) is a delightful and eerie shot. The film manages to do a lot with a little and in a short time (only 61 minutes). This is arguably the best horror film of the 30's and that says a lot for such a golden age of cinema. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Monday, October 20, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 20: An American Werewolf in London

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 20: An American Werewolf in London (Movie #15)

I first discovered An American Werewolf in London through the Michael Jackson Making of Thriller VHS tape. I wanted to see the transformation scene that they spoke about in the doc being that I was obsessed with the music video for Thriller. However, I saw this when I was quite young and got so scared by David's nightmares early on in the film that I never made it to the transformation scene.

I actually don't remember when I actually DID see the full movie. I'm sure this was part of literally hundreds of mom and pops video rentals but I honestly don't remember. My memories are strictly of that first failed attempt at watching. I do know that it wasn't until college when I bought this on DVD that I fully able to appreciate the tone, sense of humor and impressive passing.



There's so much that makes this movie enjoyable but what I appreciate the most is the fact that this is John Landis' first attempt at a horror film. While his comedy background is put to fantastic use with Griffin Dunne's performance as Jack it's even more effective when the film goes from comedic immediately to horror and back to comedy. 

I've heard a bunch of websites refer to the special effects (and specifically the transformation sequence) as the real star of the film. While I can not argue that they're absolutely stunning for me I think Griffin Dunne's deliciously dark comedic performance is what will almost stick with me. I don't know if it's the way that he says "Hi David" with a Mickey Mouse dolly or the matter-of-fact way he tells David to kill himself but I love every second he's on the screen.

Chances are you've seen this movie but if you rewatch keep an ear out for all the "moon" songs throughout. Somehow I missed this little joke until that college viewing. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 19: Cat People (1982)

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 19: Cat People (Movie #77)

I'm not going to lie. The first time I rented this movie it was for one reason and one reason alone. I was a horny kid who read on a website that there was lots of nudity in it. I could care less what else happened in this film, so much so that I completely forgot what happened in this movie. Eventually I saw it on sale and bought it but I really don't remember if I ever watched it until now.

This movie doesn't feel like an 80's film but the opening credits song by David Bowie certainly dates it, which is a little disappointing because despite a couple faults (it's a little long) it's a pretty great movie.


The barebones summary is pretty simple. Paul and Irena are long lost siblings. They come from a long line of werecats. The mythos of the werecat is simple. If Paul or Irena has sex with someone they will become a black panther and unable to regain human form until they take a human life. The only way to prevent the transformation is sex with another werecat. To put it simply werecats are incestuous.

What makes this movie work so well is that it's beautifully-shot, has a creative premise and has a premise that basically sets things up where there simply can not be a good outcome. Furthermore the few moments of gore are effective and well shot. Honestly, the only complaint I have about the film is that it's a 2 hour movie that could very easily have been told in 90 minutes.

All that being said, I'm glad that if nothing else comes from this 31 Days of Halloween project, at least I rediscovered a gem that's been hidden away in my DVD shelf.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 18: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 18: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park (Movie #296)

Kiss was and will always be non-stop marketing machines. They'll do absolutely anything to make a buck. So when Kiss is in something that you can almost only get via bootlegs … you know it's pretty terrible.

Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park isn't so much a horror movie starring Kiss as it is a live-action Scooby-Doo episode with Kiss in place of the Mystery Team. I mean the villain is legitimately the old man from the amusement park.

The band was apparently embarrassed by the failed attempts at humor, the stupid plot and terrible acting. I don't blame them but I'll be honest… I didn't hate this movie. Maybe it's because I like Kiss so much that the live performances kept me entertained but I was charmed by the sincere attempt to make a fun made-for-tv movie.


I struggle to pick a favorite part but the general idea that each member of Kiss has some type of super power is so deliciously absurd that it's hard not to like at least a little. 

Calling this a horror movie is a bit of a stretch but since it oozes such a Scooby-Doo vibe (and I think every horror fan grew up on a healthy diet of old scoob) that I'm going to accept this as a fun Halloween treat. It's got Mad Scientists, Evil Robot Clones, A Sequence inside a Dark Ride and most horrifying of all an acoustic rendition of Beth (reportedly the only time we hear Peter Criss' real voice the whole movie). Call me crazy but I might even consider this becoming part of a yearly ritual. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Friday, October 17, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 17: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 17: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (Movie #428)

I have maybe 7 or 8 Christmas themed horror movies in my collection of well over 500+ horror movies. But somehow two of them turned up in the 31 random generated shuffles. That being said this movie is just barely a Christmas horror film. It's about of a Christmas Horror movie as Jaws The Revenge.

It seems to me that Silent Night, Deadly Night started off strong but got bad fast by part 2. Then when they dropped the killer Santa story started to improve greatly. I think the best film in the franchise is actually Part 5 but I forgot how enjoyably weird this one is.

The film benefits strongly by being written and directed by Brian Yuzna (Society) and starring Clint Howard.


The film is definitely a mixed bag. When it's weird and full of Yuzna-isms it is a really fun ride. However anything else is boring and drags. That being said when I first saw this movie I didn't think anything of it but I really enjoyed myself the second time around. Yuzna's insect obsession and bizarre body mutation sequences really work on making things gross and uncomfortable and keep the story moving.

That being said, I'm gonna go ahead and repeat… Part 5: The Toy Maker is the under appreciated highlight of the franchise.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 16: Shrieker

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 16: Shrieker (Movie #423)

Two Charles Band Productions back to back. I'm not going to lie… this one hurt. Not because it was particularly bad (I mean, it certainly wasn't good) but because I remembered LOVING this fucking movie as a kid.

When I was first getting into horror movies Full Moon was my company. I'd rent anything of theirs I could get my hands on. I loved the Puppet Masters and the Demonic Toys but from the first time I saw Shrieker it was immediately my favorite title of theirs. I can't explain why now though, I guess I just really enjoyed the creature design.


Shrieker tells the tale of a group of college students who squat in an abandoned hospital to save money. Shortly after the newest girl joins the ranks they begin to be haunted by The Shrieker, a two-headed demon that might be the reason the hospital was abandoned in the first place. The film is brutally slow but thankfully short (Just over an hour if you ignore the 10 minute credit crawl), excluding the opening sequence the demon doesn't appear until roughly 40 minutes (which for 60 minute movie is too long of a wait) and a pretty nonsense ending.

On the plus side of things I do still like the creature design. Also it was fun to realize that Parry Shen (of the Hatchet series) is one of the leads in this movie. The most ludicrous thing is that despite all of those complaints, they've discussed a part 2 for over a decade now and I don't doubt I'll watch it that if it ever gets made.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 15: When Puppets & Dolls Attack

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 15: When Puppets & Dolls Attack! (Movie #506)

So part of the fun of doing these Russian Roulette style is that I own such a wide variety of films that I could get a movie I love (The Frighteners) as well as a movie I hate (Nightmare on Elm Street Remake) and/or something like this.

However that is also the downside to this. There is nothing to compliment or review really. When Puppets & Dolls Attack! is a compilation of death scenes from Full Moon pictures. There's some good nostalgic stuff as well as greatly disappointing clips.

Since there's no real plot line this is gonna be a short one. Its only advantage is that it's fun to remember how great those early movies and it also shows how the more recent films (while having a bigger price tag) seem cheaper somehow.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 14: Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 14: Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 (Movie #350)

To quote Dr. Sam Beckett… "Oh Boy". This might be my least favorite movie I own, and that is saying a lot as I have over 2,000 DVDs. Also today's my birthday… talk about a shitty birthday gift.

So why do I own it? Good question. I didn't see this in theaters, I ended up seeing it was on sale at Best Buy for $4.99 one day and figured "I'll have to buy it one day" (as I'm a completest with franchises) and figured I'd never see it for cheaper. When this movie was first advertised I actually had high expectations. I liked who they picked as Freddy, I even liked the burn-victim look of him. Also the idea of questioning if he was a child molester or not was intriguing. Plus it's a Freddy movie, even at their worst they are usually pretty entertaining… I was wrong.



There are plenty of websites and articles out there that can go into more details about why this movie is unenjoyable. I'm going to just explain the things that bother me the most.

1) They call into question if he was a Child Molester. This is a great idea. The idea that he was an innocent man burnt alive for a crime he didn't do… it's such a unique twist on the character. It's not just a slasher it's a revenge story. But in the end (spoiler alert) he's just a child molester. We wasted 20-30 minutes of film researching sometime only to find out nothing new has been added to the story at all.

2) The movie recreates moments from the original film except they do it with shitty CGI when the original (and probably cheaper) practical effects were far more effective.

3) There is absolutely no fun in this movie! The reason someone likes Freddy is because in a dream world he can do and become absolutely anything. Jason and Michael will just stab you … but Freddy will become your fear or twist the things you love into your ultimate death. Do you like making puppets? He'll turn your ass into one. Are you terrified of bugs? Prepare to die as a cockroach. Unless you're attacked by this Freddy. In that case he will just slowly walk up to you with his claw glove and stab you. The End.

I actually feel bad hating this movie because the Nightmare films are so strongly a franchise that I love. But these films open so many doors of possibilities but someone (not sure who's to blame, the writer, the director or the producer) decided to ignore and walk past all those doors and go for the blandest interruption. 

But I'm a completest so I refuse to sell my copy of this. So I have no one to blame for myself that I had to sit through this again. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Monday, October 13, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 13: Society

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 13: Society (Movie #440)

When I was a kid the Society VHS cover was always etched into my brain (as noted here). Despite that I never felt the need to rent it. However has years went on I'd see review after review of praise and started to realize I made a mistake not renting this when I had a chance.

By the time I was in college this film was pretty high up on my list of movies I need to see but I had no way of acquiring a copy. Then came my discovery of VHSPS. Thanks to them I was finally able to see this movie earlier this year.

All in all Society is a pretty incredible movie. It's a slow-burn but they sprinkle in just enough surrealism to keep your attention. It's all building to the intense and bizarre finale.


Due to the unique twists and turns and the genuine difficulty it takes to find this movie I'm going to keep my review shorter than usual. If you're a fan of practical effects however I will say that the ending is a practical effects triumph.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 12: Mother's Day (1980)

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!

Day 12: Mother's Day (Movie #329)

There's a chance that you are only familiar with Mother's Day because of the recent remake. The remake is a remake in name only and while in a lot of ways it is superior to the original I still prefer this version of the film.

This Troma film (directed by Lloyd's brother Charlie Kaufman) isn't as tromarific and other titles but it's obvious that the Kaufman brother's share a very similar sense of humor. The first 20 minutes or so of the movie basically is a college road trip film. However when the horror element squeaks in it's practically a pre-cusor to the torture porn genre.

That's not just me making up shit either. When I had Lloyd Kaufman on my podcast he mentioned that this movie was Eli Roth's (creator of Hostel) favorite film. Hostel along with Saw definitely helped ring in a couple years of demented psychological horror and torture. The only difference is Hostel didn't have a shitty plaster head in a birdcage… which makes this movie much much better.


Mother's Day follows a group of 3 female college friends who get together every year for a road trip and to relive their past memories. On a camping trip full of pot and skinny dipping the three find themselves kidnapped and in the home of two deranged brothers and their evil Mother. 

These boys will do anything to make Mama proud, including rape and murder. The film's sense of humor is very similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre's having complete insane characters acting like a perfect family. One particularly memorable scene involves the brothers coming home to brag about how they beat and kidnapped the girls only to be disciplined by their mother for not wiping their feet before they entered the house.

In the end the film turns into a revenge film in a similar (but fair less dark) vein of Last House on the Left and I Spit On Your Grave. While it's a greatly flawed and ultra-low budget horror movie, there's just too much charm to not find enjoyment in Mother's Day.


Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 11: Black X-Mas

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 11: Black X-Mas (Movie #51)



Let me preference this write up by saying that I think the Original Black Christmas is without argument one of the top 10 best/most important/scariest/etc Horror movies of all time. It is a perfectly executed horror-mystery with a frighteningly open ended conclusion. Black X-Mas is none of those things.

Now does that mean I disliked this movie? Not at all. I have a genuine love for this remake but its in the same way I love something like Sleepaway Camp. Every death is so over the top, there's icicles falling through faces, ice skates and candy canes used in place of knives and a plot involving making human flesh cookies. If this movie was meant to be taken seriously they fucked up big time, if this was meant to be an over-the-top fun and gory slasher than A+ to everyone involved.


The plot line to this remake is mostly faithful to the original premise. A group of sorority girls are tortured by a crazed man in their house who keeps calling them. The modernization of things (like cell phones) take away part of the terror.

One of the biggest changes is that throughout most of the original no one knew there was a killer in the house. They assumed girls had left home for the holidays early and they were getting prank phone calls. This film they're well aware there's a killer in the house, which begins raising the question of why are they looking for this guy instead of just leaving (or calling the cops on their cell phones that obviously work).

The other mistake in this film is revealing Billy and giving him a backstory. What terrified me most in the original Black Christmas is (SPOILER ALERT) never knowing who it was that was doing these things.

As far as remakes go this isn't terrible but it certainly isn't particularly good. But I remember having a blast when I saw it in theaters. The fact that I'm still able to enjoy it all these years later is a nice bonus. 

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Friday, October 10, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 10: The Frightners

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!



Day 10: The Frighteners (Movie #194)


Of all the movies in the world, there is a handful that I probably could review without rewatching. The Frighteners is one of those films. I have loved and been obsessed with this film for years. I'm always said that Scream was the movie that made me love horror movies and that it was my "first horror movie". This is a mostly true statement.

When I was a kid I was a huge pussy when it came to blood and gore and scary stuff in general. So while I had no problem watching stuff like Anaconda and Monster Squad I flat out refused to watch any R rated horror movies. That all changed because of Frighteners. I was such a Michael J. Fox fan and the trailer was so funny that I assumed I would be fine watching the movie (and I was). It was this film that gave me the courage to watch Scream when my cousin asked me if I wanted to watch it with him.


The Frighteners tells the story of Frank Bannister a psychic and a  con man who hires the ghosts that he can see and communicate to haunt the houses of rich individuals so he can make money acting as a ghostbuster. However when a specter in the guise of the Grim Reaper starts offing people (almost exclusively when Frank is around) he finds himself as the number one suspect of murder by a crazed FBI agent (Jeffery Combs).

As a kid (I'm talking about 11 or 12) I was completely obsessed with this film. Every moment of it is gorgeously shot, the comedy hits almost every mark, the scares work and the performances are solid. It's tough to pick a favorite Peter Jackson film given that so many of them exist in such surreal worlds (specifically the first 4-5) that it's easy for your favorite to change depending on your mood but for years it's been no contest for me. Frighteners all the way.

If you have a friend who doesn't like horror, or scares easily. This is one of the best "starter" films for them. So go and make a new Horror Fan out of someone!


Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 9: Freddy vs Jason

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 9: Freddy Vs. Jason (Movie #180)


I've said before that Scream was the Horror movie that made me a horror fan. After that film opened the door for me I started to track down every title from the obscure to the well known. I befriended people who were horror fans who would introduce me to films. Basically everything I did was to allow my horror knowledge to grow and grow. It was my friend Joe who showed me Nightmare on Elm Street.

Now I didn't live under a rock or anything. I was well aware who Freddy was. The commercial for Freddy's Dead was one of the many things that give the elementary version of myself… nightmares. However watching the first movie for the first time was huge for me. Up until that point I had never seen anything so unique and bizarre. I was never a massive fan of Jason, in fact it really wasn't until a year or two ago that I developed an appreciation for anything other than parts 1 and 6 of that franchise.

Regardless of my lackluster opinion of Jason when Freddy Vs. Jason came out I wanted to see it. Proving themselves to be the worst friends ever my circle of friends at the time all went and saw this in theaters when I was working (despite the fact that they were moderate horror fans at best). I ended up missing the theatric experience of this movie but I bought it immediately upon it's Home-Video/DVD release and I enjoyed the hell out of it.


I've heard in interviews and podcasts a fairly negative perspective on this movie. That always bothered me. The fact is that pairing this two against each other doesn't really make much sense. It's basically fan fiction fodder at best, but what they were able to make out of that premise is impressive. Like many of the sequels before it, yes there were hundreds of drafts and different plot ideas, some possibly bette than what we got but this was pretty fucking good.

The kills are fun, the gore is over the top and the humor works most of the time. The only real issues I have with this movie is (a) the wanna be Jason Mewes character and (b) the over usage of CGI. But in the grand scheme of things this a fun little action/horror flick that I've enjoyed (and will continue to enjoy) for years.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 8: The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 8: The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (Movie #36)


When I first purchased The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms on DVD I hadn't see it before. I was actually trying to purchase Them! but the cheapest copy was a double feature with this film. This was not a bad thing as a child one of my all-time favorite movies was Jason & The Argonauts largely because of the stop-motion of Ray Harryhausen.

The film starts off with a group of scientists testing an atomic bomb in the Arctic. What they unknowingly do is awake a carnivorous dinosaur. The only witness is declared as delirious and released from the rest of the expedition but he persists in New York desperately trying to warn people of the danger that awaits them.  Eventually the dinosaur walks ashore and attacks New York.



Like many sci-fi/horror films from the 50s the film is mostly a slow burn. However I do applaud the immediately introduction of the claymation beast. Most films of that era (and beyond) would just hint at the creature and reveal it in the last 10 minutes but with a creature as impressive as this one I can imagine their excitement to show it off immediately. It truly is the star of the show.

This is not the greatest Harryhausen work of career (I'm still gonna give that to Jason & The Argonauts and 7th voyage of Sinbad) but it is a damn impressive creation regardless. This film doesn't feel at all like a Halloween film though and while I'm sure I'm watch it again and again for years to come I doubt it'll ever become a Halloween tradition for me.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

31 Days of Halloween - Day 7: Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1

For the last few years I always do a 31 days of Halloween month. The past few years I re-read all the original Goosebumps books and before that I'd watch 31 horror movies. However I realized every single time I watched 31 Horror movies I exclusively picked ones I enjoyed. I decided to do something slightly different. I composed a list of every horror movie I owned and put them in alphabetical order. Then using a random number generator I generated 31 numbers and watched the movies that corresponded with those numbers. Some are great films and others… well… are less than fun let's say. I hope you enjoy!


Day 7: Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (Movie #399)


I love Troma. I'm not ashamed about that at all. I've had Lloyd Kaufman on my podcast multiple times and have always loved talking to him about film as well as the history of Troma and their films. At the end of the day however their films are hit and miss. Some of the films considered "Troma Classics" are really difficult to watch. As much as I've loved most of the Troma Classics I never was a big fan of the Class of Nuke 'Em High Series (even though I own the box set).

Despite that when I heard that Lloyd was remaking/rebooting/doing a sequel to Nuke 'Em High though, I was excited. The Kaufman of the now is much more interesting than 80's Kaufman. He's grown as a director in a lot of ways and by allowing people to write his scripts for him it widens the sense of humor of all the films. While Lloyd will tell you that Troma's War and Class of Nuke 'Em High are among his best films it's simply not true. From Tromeo & Juliet up until now the films have had funnier scripts, better acting and just simply look better.

Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (and I'll at least assume Volume 2) is never going to be my all-time favorite Troma film (That's either Cannibal The Musical or Tromeo & Juliet) but it's a great film. It contains some of the funniest moments in Troma films, possibly the most beautiful cast you'll ever see in a Troma film, some of the most bizarrely stylized editing I've ever seen and represents the complete and total anarchy that Troma represents in the film world.


The film follows the basic premise of the original Class of Nuke 'Em High but is different and demented enough that it all feels fresh instead of like a rehash. The original film was always a great concept but it always felt slow at moments, this movie however movies at rapid speed and is non-stop fun. The only thing I prefer in the original is probably the Nerd Meltdown.

Also, no spoilers, but if you're a Troma film there is a sequence that involves Lloyd screaming at a what is basically a collection of cameos from from various films from Troma past.

Matt Kelly is the host of the popular podcast The Saint Mort Show, a frequent contributor to Geekscape.net, the founder of Chords for Cures and the co-writer/co-director of the upcoming comedy Describing the Moon. He also loves it when people surprise him with purchases from his Amazon Wishlist… just saying.